Oikland my Oikland

30th August 2019 2

Divorce is never at the drop of a hat. The final split comes after years of papering over the cracks, such that not only is a great sense of relief felt afterwards, but each half asks themselves why they persevered in a futile cause for so long. For the children, maybe. Or simply because the status quo seemed preferable to … [Read on]

The Arch Remainer of Canterbury

29th August 2019 12

The Archbishop of Canterbury is proposing to groups of MPs his intention to chair “citizens’ assemblies” to stop a no-deal departure from the EU. First question: who are the “citizens” who will make up these so-called “citizens’ assemblies”? Citizens – though, since the people of Britain are not French republicans, we call ourselves “subjects” – voted decisively to leave the … [Read on]

Post Brexit Cannibalism warns Department of Food & Waste

18th August 2019 10

Food shortages following a no deal Brexit The public is warned that following a no-deal Brexit, food may be in such short supply that outbreaks of cannibalism are likely Is your neighbour a cannibal ? Signs to watch out for. Excessively long thighbones in their dustbin Blood around the corners of a neigbour’s mouth on leaving home Unusual screams coming … [Read on]

Gallic Lycanthropy: ‘It’s not the pale moon that excites me’

15th August 2019 2

Wolves have returned to the neighbourhood in which I have my house in France. It borders the département in which the so called Beast of Gévaudun, presumably a wolf, a pair or a pack of wolves, terrified the population in the middle years of the eighteenth century, killing perhaps a hundred people. Three miles from my house, local people have … [Read on]

American Class

6th August 2019 1

About a year ago, I shared a train compartment with a seemingly reticent Canadian fellow, a man heavily shielded by a newspaper, and I doubted I’d catch a syllable from the stolid moose. But after gobbling a handsome steak sandwich with yellow dressing and downing a pint, he eased into a happier frame of mind. And after another pint, and … [Read on]

A Man with no Purpose?

1st August 2019 7

Three years after the June 2016 there are still people beholden to the Brussels gravy train for personal, financial, and (perhaps) ideological reasons. They’re still sabotaging Brexit. Their slurs, smears, and lies still have Britain trussed up in Lilliputian red tape and tied to the eurovillage. For a good slice of the last three years the voice of Tony Blair … [Read on]