Articles by Peter Mullen

John Lennon is the greatest miracle-worker since Maggie Farnley from Huddersfield who taught tadpoles to fly. Actually, Lennon exceeds her as he contrives to be both eighty years old and dead. If you don’t believe me, just look. It’s there in all the papers: JOHN LENNON AT 80 – singing Imagine in his shroud and either with a peg on … [Read on]

“Create a language and you create a world,” is one of Ludwig Wittgenstein’s less-impenetrable sayings. For example, is adultery a mortal sin or only a lifestyle choice? Or is a large pork pie a real treat or the likely precursor of a heart attack? An hour in the sun with your shirt off a warming boost to morale after a … [Read on]

40 George Square is the name chosen by the authorities at Edinburgh University in place of what was the David Hume Tower. I used the word authorities because I was unsure how to spell sycophants and I didn’t have a dictionary to hand. I suppose I might have used toadies, creeps, grovellers, spaniels, lickspittles or brown-nosers. The tower is being … [Read on]

Min Ed Circular 666/2020 On 1st September 2020 the Central Universities Board (CUB) is to be replaced by the fore-mentioned institution. WOKE is an exciting new venture in the framing of an enlightened and progressive curriculum for all UK universities. To avoid any possible confusion, the names of the subjects to be taught will remain as they were when this … [Read on]

For far too long our wonderful young people have been the victims of scandalous prejudice on the part of the educational establishment which inexplicably favours students who are intelligent, knowledgeable and industrious. This reactionary policy constantly discriminates against those of our wonderful young people who are ignorant, idle and thick. I have been gathering first-hand testimonies from some of these … [Read on]

Sheffield Cathedral is to get rid of its choir because, as Deputy Dean Canon Peter Farrow complains, it does not engage with “Sheffield’s mixed urban community.” But the cathedral’s worshippers will not be left comfortless, for new singing groups will be brought in to make “significant change for engagement, inclusion and diversity.” Well, Canon Farrow and his fellow musical-spiritual iconoclasts … [Read on]

Compulsory pop to be played on all hospital wards ? Many people are understandably afraid to go into hospital during the pandemic, but I can tell you that there’s a much more terrible disease around than Covid-19. And it’s enough to make you vow to stay out of hospital at all costs. I mean that audible filth called pop music  … [Read on]